


Scaphism and Other Heroic Tales

by ploThief



Series: Cross-cove's procrastinating palavers [1]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: (but also false?), Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Spooky, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Izuku is a Spooky Problem Child, No beta we die like illiterates, Oblivious Midoriya Izuku, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Rating May Change, Sensei | All For One is Midoriya Hisashi, but basically a lot of BNHA characters, dad for one, may add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 00:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16587671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ploThief/pseuds/ploThief
Summary: “Is it possible to become a hero even if I don’t have a quirk?”All Might stares at the headless middle schooler. Then into the arms where said middle schooler’s head sits waiting.“Uh…”------------------------------------------------------------(Izuku is an Addam who wants to be a hero, and the world screams)





	Scaphism and Other Heroic Tales

 

* * *

 

"Come on, Masaru!" Mitsuki Bakugou huffs impatiently, rocking the newest addition to their family. Katsuki Bakugou, with all his tiny pudgy glory, was fussing madly for who knows what reason this time. She knows that he isn't hungry, had a well-rested nap, and doesn't need a diaper change. Yet here he goes wailing and flailing about like the cranky nugget he is. She catches those little fists and kisses them because her spawn was a little demon and she loves him all the same. "Shush, you tantrum-tot. We'll be going as soon as daddy stops taking his slowass time."

“It’s not good to cuss in front of the baby, dear.” Masaru Bakugou emerges from the hallway with the diaper bag and housewarming gift in tow. His wife waves him off.

“Words don’t mean shit at this age, its all about the tone. Isn’t that right, Katsuki?” She coos. Katsuki, who had grown tired of his tiny tantrum, happily blows raspberries in response. He continues to do so as his parents strap him in the stroller. It was his favorite sound.

 

Outside was a bit cloudy, but the Bakugous could spot their destination at the top of their inclined neighborhood. It was modest two-story house that sat there, snugly hidden from neighboring houses by the overgrown shrubbery within its wide gated space. A little wore down in appearance, yet nothing that would make it stand out too much. Perhaps that’s why so many unassumingly bought it.

They never lasted long.

 

Everyone in the neighborhood knew that house was cursed, haunted by something of it’s past. No one knew what it was exactly, but they all knew of the ‘accidents’ that occurred. The Bakugous themselves, who had only been in the neighborhood for three years, had witness five buyers come and go from that house, frantic to leave and usually sporting some type of injury. The worst incident that happened after the Bakugous moved in was the sudden murder of Mrs. Maki, which was apparently so grisly the news mentioned that the investigators felt uncomfortable reporting it. The police ruled that it was her husband who killed her, a man who was paralyzed waist down and bound to a wheelchair. The Bakugous remember how the Makis were the happiest married coupled they had ever met, married for over 32 years. The Bakugous also remember how Mr. Maki was dragged out of the house by the police, soaked in blood and screaming that he it wasn’t him and he had been possessed.

Mitsuki shudders at the memory of that incident, looking down at her tiny tot who was happily gurgling and blowing raspberries at anything that catches his attention, laughing whenever Masaru made a funny face. Thank goodness Katsuki wasn’t born during that incident. Even if he doesn’t understand what’s happening half the time, she wouldn’t want her baby to be a part of that. No one should be, really. Which is why the Bakugous are going to greet their new neighbors and warn them about the house. A few of the other neighbors have probably already warned them or are planning to warn them, which is good. More neighbors warning the same thing is more convincing than just one.

 

Getting closer to the house, they see that someone is sitting on the steps just outside the gated entrance, waving to the moving truck that drives away. The figure turns out to be a woman wrapped in a colorful fluffy shawl, rocking a small bundle in her arms. Being into fashion, Mitsuki can’t help but take in the other woman’s outfit when she gets closer.

Turns out the woman’s shawl is made of…wilted flower petals? Or some type of material to resemble such. It’s equally as eye-catching as the large gardening hat that sits upon her head, brim so wide that it shadows her pale complexion. Yet the simple black dress she wears helps highlight the tinge of green in her near ebony hair, the same color as her eyes when she turns to face them. “Oh, hello!”

 

“Hello and welcome to the neighborhood!” Mitsuki wastes no time to give her the housewarming gift, which the woman excepts with a gracious smile. “We just wanted to come by and introduce ourselves. I’m Mitsuki Bakugou, and this is my husband Masaru and my son Katsuki.”

“Inko Midoriya,” the lady returns as the bundle in her arms squirms a bit. Mitsuki peeks to see a baby swaddled in the buddle, probably a few months younger than Katsuki. He is a pretty little thing like his mom and just as pale too, with tiny freckles popping out from his complexion. Tuffs of curls peek out of the blanket, a lighter green than his mother’s shade. “And this is my son, Izuku.”

“He’s adorable,” Masaru leans in to get a better look. At the sound of another voice, the baby blearily opens his eyes to reveal a green color matching his hair with speckles of blue tossed in the mix. The baby blinks again before zeroing in on Masaru, holding an intensity most babies don’t have. He leans back and the baby’s eyes still follow him. Weird. “How old is he?”

“Two months,” Midoriya states proudly, and her son focuses his attention to her, face lifting into a gummy smile. She returns it with a warm smile of her own before shifting her attention back to the Bakugous. “How old is your son? He looks a bit older than my Izuku.”

“About to turn five months in a few days.” Katsuki, who apparently became fascinated with Mrs. Midoriya’s hat, was growling and reaching for it. She takes it off and offers it to the blonde baby, who grabs it and immediately stuff the brim in his mouth. “Katsuki!”

Midoriya laughs it off. “It’s alright! He is such an energetic one. It’s good to know that Izuku will have someone around his age in the neighborhood. Thank you again for the gift! Would you like to come inside? Izuku and I are out here enjoying this lovely weather while my husband unpacks, but I’m sure that the first floor is finished by now! My husband can come meet you all and I can whip up a lovely brew while the boys can get to play together.”

 

Mitsuki quickly shakes her head. God, what a sweet woman, but Mitsuki is as sure as hell never taking one step into that house and neither is her family. She would be damned to let something happen to Midoriya and her two-month old son too, who had fallen back asleep. “Actually, there’s another reason that brought us here. Those real estate agents probably didn’t tell you or your husband anything because there a bunch of greedy scumbags, but a lot of bad things have happened in that house.”

 “Look,” she continues. “I don’t really believe in all that supernatural junk, but I can’t deny weird shit has been happening in that house. A lot of the other neighbors will tell you the same thing when they stop by and tell you to move out before accidents happen. If you guys really want a place in this neighborhood though, our house is on the market and we’ll be happy to throw in a discount.” They were moving out in three weeks, having already bought a house closer to Masaru’s work with bigger space. It’s not like they didn’t already have offers, but Mitsuki and Masaru were fine with tossing those aside if it meant the safety of the new neighbors.

“So the rumors are true!” At that, Inko lets out a sigh of relief. “That’s so good to hear, it’s why we bought the house in the first place. My husband assured me that the stories were true before we bought it, but I still had some doubts. One cannot completely trust the internet, you know!”

_What?_

 

Their expressions must have been a sight to see, because the baby in Inko’s arms lets out a peal of laughter. Except the baby couldn’t have seen. Izuku was still asleep.

 

“You,” Masaru swallows and tries again. “You knew about all the ‘accidents’ and injuries that happened in that house, all those murders and disappearances...and you bought the house because of it?” The woman nods, much to his horror.

“Of course, it's the perfect environment to raise a child in! I’m surprised that so many people moved out so quickly. How can one pass up on such an ideal house?” She gushes, smiling with eyes so sincere that it finally dawns upon the Bakugous that this woman was crazy.

 

“Oh,” for once Mitsuki doesn’t know what to say. But she knows that if the husband was going along with this, then this couple was in no state to be raising a child. Should they call child protection services? She glances worriedly at the woman’s baby and swears. “Fucking shit!”

The sight that greeted her was the baby’s half-lidded eyes rolled back to their head, exposing milky whites staring straight at her with a wide gum-filled smile. Masaru recoils slightly at the sight while Katsuki laughs. He probably thinks it’s a funny face. She really hopes that’s the case.

Inko looks down at her son and gives a little laugh, which cause the baby’s smile to stretch even farther. “Izuku, you silly gremlin! That is the eighth time this day. You really like that face, don’t you?” The eyes roll back down to normal and the two-month old bursts into giggles. The woman smiles fondly before returning her attention back to the Bakugous. “Izuku loves making silly faces, he’s such a little comedian.”

“Ah, well. Look at the time.” Masaru glances at his watch. “My wife and I need to finish packing and it’s near Katsuki’s bath time. So sorry to cut our visit short. Isn’t that right, dear?” He looks at her frantically, and she nods immediately. Bless her husband because she loved that man so much.

“That’s right.” Mitsuki snatches the hat out of Katsuki’s grip, much to his displeasure, and all but flings it back to the owner. Fuck this freaky-ass family. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

“Thank you! It was nice meeting you.” Inko waves to the retreating forms of the Bakugous, who were already a great distance from her. What a nice family.

* * *

     

“Who was that, my dear?” a deep baritone greets her as soon as Inko closes the front door, the owner of the voice following. Her husband swoops in to kiss her, pressing their son between the two in a crushing embrace. Izuku squeals at the comforting sensation of being suffocated. “Any solicitors? We could use a few more graves sites for the garden.”

“Not at all. The Bakugous were neighbors that brought us a lovely housewarming gift, even though they are moving away in a few weeks. Isn’t that sweet?” She shows off the gift. “They had such a sense of humor too, trying to sell us their normal house after I told them how positively horrifying this one was. And their little Katsuki was so demanding and tried to eat my hat. Such a darling!”

Hisashi Midoriya upturned his nose at that. Or he would have if he had a nose. He mostly just a had a meaty scar of flesh to act as his face, sans his mouth. (Inko so loved tracing all those pulsing veins under his scar tissue. She enjoyed teasing that was the only reason why she married him.)

 

“Is that so?” he states in the upmost doubt but dismisses such nonsense in favor of lifting his son. He smiles and tosses Izuku in the air playfully, delighting in the ability to make his son laugh. “No matter. Izuku’s impression was surely magnificent to make the woman shriek. As expected of my darling maggot.” He coos proudly to his son, who takes that as an opportunity to wriggle out of his blanket to reveal the straitjacket underneath. At the next toss up, Izuku rips out of the clothing and limbs scatter everywhere. Tiny hands scuttle down the hallway while chubby arms trundle under the furniture. His feet have already hopped down to the dungeon, legs following behind. Hisashi catches the remains of the baby’s body and the two-month-old giggles, planting a sloppy kiss on his father before letting his head flop back to fall on the floor with a wet thunk. It rolls swiftly to his mother side to start biting her ankles.   

 

Inko sighs and picks up her son’s babbling head. Izuku has been stuck in that phase which he simply can’t keep himself in one piece. While Izuku is smart enough never to lose any of his limbs, he has some difficulty fitting them back to their correct place. She has been teaching him the proper way to do so, as she has in bloodletting and bomb-throwing, but sometimes she feels it isn’t enough. Hisashi has assured her that they were doing a wonderful job at parenting, that Izuku was thriving and happy, but she wants to make sure. That, and she hadn’t seen her mother for such a while…

“Shishi.” Her husband pauses from tickling their son’s stomach. “I think we should introduce Izuku to the rest of the family…”   

 

* * *

 

Upcoming teaser:

_Inko took up her husband’s surname, but that did not mean she was any less an Addam._

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something for Halloween. Now I sleep.  
> (sorry to all my friends on discord for once again falling off the face of the earth and thank you once again friends on discord for helping me out)


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